Depression, struggle and overcoming

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18 

My life has been a blessed one and I am grateful for all God has given me and all the opportunities I have had. However there have been difficult times in my life. I remember how miserable I was for almost a year at my first job. I hated getting up in the morning, hated what I had to do, auditing, and hated the politics. There were nice people there, I miss some of them, but I am happy that it is behind me. However the suffering of that time in my life pales in comparison to the last few years of my marriage. I suffered through a long separation and a divorce.

What was worse than the breakup of my marriage was that I found myself spending less and less time with my kids. Before the separation I was pretty much with them all the time, unless I was at work. I was an active dad, helping with homework, studying and most important, play time.  I taught my children their ABC’s, to swim, make pancakes and scramble eggs, took them biking and loved doing arts and crafts with them.  In comparison I would say I hardly get to see them now.

What made all of that even more complicated was that I went through all of that while being the associate pastor of my church.

Everyday was a struggle to get through.  I thank God that He provided me with many resources. Countless opportunities presented themselves to help me maintain my sanity.  Many hours at the gym, a new found love for drawing, growing my computer skills was helpful and constructive.  But nothing compared to a greater focus on God’s work. I joined the choir, the drama ministry and spent much more time in prayer and reading the bible. I had previously done many of these things. However over the years much responsibility and other complications had made it difficult to participate as much as I would have liked in these activities that now comforted me.

There are many people suffering through much more than I have ever experienced. While it is always advisable to seek professional help, there are good God fearing counselors and psychiatrist who can help in times of need, God is a strength that cannot be matched.

In the end God was faithful in keeping me in His path. I found myself wanting more of Him and he was quick to satisfy.  In Isaiah 41:10 we read “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” The apostle Paul advises in Philippians 4:6-7  “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

Life is still a struggle. I will never get over having less time with my children. Every opportunity I have with them I treasure and try to make the most of it.  I find myself thinking of them and praying for them all the time. I constantly and perhaps irrationally worry that they may be in some kind of danger. Once again I put my trust in God and pray even more, it is what gets me through the day and especially the nights.

Try these Verses-on-depression

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